Back to Work....

Unfortunately this day had to come....Monday, October 11th...the day I had to return to work. :(  


Returning to work was such a mix of emotions for me.  Although I was excited at the thought of being a productive human being again (I am definitely not a stay at home kind of girl), I worried so much about balancing work, the Y, household tasks, Chris and most of all being a good, no GREAT mom to Cammie (especially with additional stress added to my plate).  I could not forget the way work had made me feel over the past three years and was concerned whether or not I would be able to just walk away. 


The Sunday before was definitely a HARD day.  I think I cried over a dozen times as I thought about all the things I would miss when I returned to work (rocking Cammie to sleep during the day, meeting my mom and dad for lunch at Chick-fil-A, watching trash T.V. (how Chris refers to daytime television) as Cammie laid on my chest and the dogs were at my feet and of course all of the "first" things that she would do).  Chris had to constantly remind me that I would still be able to do those things, just not as often or at the same time.


Monday morning quickly came and Camryn and I headed out the door for what I thought would be the longest day of my life.  I can honestly report that returning to work ended up being much easier than I ever anticipated. My amazing co-workers welcomed me back and really made me feel like they missed me while I was gone.  My students seemed so excited to see me and reminded me why I decided to become a teacher and do what I do each day.  The day quickly ended and each consecutive day since has gone just as fast.  I can honestly say I do a much better job of leaving work at school, not stressing about the small stuff and leaving school at a decent hour each day (around 4:15 which was unheard of from me before).  


I truly believe that some women are meant to be with their children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, while others are meant to work and be with their children part of the 24 hours in each day. Growing up, my mom worked third shift as a nurse and she worked a lot.  My brother and I spent a portion of each week at my grandma's house and although I missed her, I knew she was doing something that made her happy and would benefit our family in the end.  Today, I aspire to be the type of mom to Camryn that she has been to me. Although I miss Camryn like crazy while I am at work, being away from her for a portion of the day makes me truly appreciate the time I have with her in the evenings.  I love that I am now able to drop whatever I am working on to do whatever she needs (feed, hold, rock and/or love her).  Although I would give anything to be with her during the day I know that I am making a choice that will better her life now and in the future. I want to be able to give her what she needs and most of what she wants.  I want to be able to send her to college and get her started in the right direction for life just as my parents did for me. If I didn't work we would have to sacrifice some or all of those things that I know she deserves.  I tell this to myself each day, especially on a Tuesday or Wednesday morning when the end of the week does not seem close enough! :)


I don't know how this post got to be so long...guess that is what happens when you haven't blogged since returning to work :)