5 years ago today...

I made one of the best decisions of my life and married my best friend.  I am so very blessed that Chris is my husband and rarely give him enough credit for the amazing man, friend, husband and father he is.  We have never really gone anywhere or made our anniversary super special (I hate that we have gotten "used" to being with one another...we celebrated 13 years together this past January.) so when we got the opportunity and were invited to go to Chicago we went!  Our neighbors and friends, Joe and Danielle, invited us to attend a Cubs baseball game at Wrigley Field the day before our anniversary.  Going to Wrigley has been on Chris' bucket list (along with every other historic stadium in the country :) for as long as I can remember and he was so excited to go. We stayed in a hotel in Merrillville, Indiana the night before and wrote the train into Chicago.  Joe and Danielle took us to lunch at Goose Island microbrewery which was delicious!  Chris loved their IPA they brewed there and we were able to stay dry from the quick afternoon showers that started to fall right as we got off the L.  The rain cooled things down to a shocking 74 degrees at the start of game time!  (It was like over 100 degrees at home that day. :)  We walked around Wrigleyville in Chicago and actually saw the Cubs get a W for the day!  I loved watching the traditions that surround the Cubs, such as the rooftop seats and songs they sing at the conclusion of a game they won!   Chris and I drove back Friday, where he spent our actual anniversary golfing, while I shopped and spent time with my mom, dad and Cammie.  We concluded our evening at Rocky's with some of our best friends, Nick, Chrissie, Ellie, Brad, Meghan and Maddie.  Although it was the first time I left Cammie overnight (for 2 nights!!! Thank you Chrissie and Mom for watching her :) we had a great time!  So blessed!

Here are a few pictures from our trip...not the greatest, but all I had was my phone and it was a cloudy, rainy day. :/

Chris and I in front of the bean :)

Wrigley Field!

The view from our seats :)  They were great!

See the W flag...Yay for a win! If you were close enough to see the Red's flag is on top because they were in first in the NL Central....Go Reds!! :)

More than I can handle....

Ugh... Do you ever ask yourself why you do things? I have spent my entire summer so far asking myself that question. Pretty much I have a pity party at least once a week and have since we moved in. For whatever reason I thought moving, trying to work on my +30 and spending time with my loves was not enough for my summer vacation. I thought I should add a curriculum project as well. Stupid. In my defense I signed up because I will be paid $3000.00 for completing it in July. $3000.00 will completely pay to take my baby to Disney over fall break. I know when we are having breakfast with Special Agent Oso, the stuffed love of her life, this project will be worth every penny. If it weren't for this project I'm not sure we would be able to go. Moving, the dog's expenses, a beach trip and an upcoming golf trip for Chris will pretty much have us spent for the year as far as fun money goes. Currently however, I regret my decision on a bi-weekly (the days I have to go into school and work on it) basis. I hate the time it takes away from my girl. :( I feel like we miss opportunities to play at the pool, zoo, park or home together. I feel like I am missing out on such a fun time in her life. She is at such a great age! I feel like any day I have to spend with her and not pressed to do something or be somewhere at a set time is nothing but fun! Unfortunately there just aren't enough of those days this summer. I also feel stretched way too thin. I stay up late or get up early to work on school (another thing I question why I started....), I get up super early to run some days or do what I can to fit the Y into my schedule, the dog requires so much love and extra attention and I never feel like I meet my own or my friend's and family's expectations. I just don't have the time to spend with them like I or they wish I did. It's times like these when I just question if I am doing the right thing....I worry if spending my summer completing online classes and a curriculum project is the right choice. Yes, the extra money will allow us to better plan for Cammie's future and give her some amazing vacation memories, but will I end up hating and resenting my job for it in the end. Education is currently a tough job. There are many days when I walk away frustrated and defeated and it has nothing to do with the kids. I don't have the time or energy to devote to my classroom like I did in the beginning. Grading papers, planning and trying to figure out how I'm going to engage my students in every subject area can feel so overwhelming at times. Then when I come home and lose my patience easier with C I feel like a bad mom. I fear not getting an actual break from school life is going to make this year so much harder. Chris reminds me regularly that summer life is much better than school life, regardless of school or this project. He reminds me that I currently get to eat breakfast, snuggle for naps and have an occasional fun day with her, which is more than I can say for the school year. He reminds me that I chose to go back to school and work on this project for HER, not me. I, like any other mom want her to have the best. I am trying to ensure she gets the best, just struggling through that right now.:)

Fighter

Is the only word I can find to describe Zoey. Sunday Chris, Camryn and I went to visit my grandpa before heading to church and then enjoyed breakfast together at Panera. We came home to a MESS! We had forgotten to put the trash up and the dogs destroyed it to say the least. I guess all the yuckiness of the trash got to Z because she had gotten sick while we were gone as well. While we enjoyed a lazy early afternoon, I noticed Zoey was moping around and not acting like herself. I was worried about her, but we had planned to go to Chris' mom and dad's house for the rest of the afternoon and we had to leave her. When we came home for the evening things were even worse than earlier. Brohdi clearly got bored while we were gone and decided to pull anything and everything off the kitchen counter. The dogs got into marshmallows, Cheese-Its, bananas and graham crackers....YIKES! Huge mess and even worse for our Zoey girl. In a nutshell, because of the dog's activities on Sunday Zoey did not eat for 2 1/2 days. She was also sick for 2 1/2 days. If you have seen her recently you know she can't afford to miss a meal, let alone 2 1/2 days worth. Unfortunately her new vet doesn't work on Mondays so we had to wait until Tuesday to take her (she is also such a puzzle I try to keep some consistency with who sees her now). After spending 6 1/2 hours at the vet, I walked out at 9:30 p.m. not knowing if I would see my dog again. :( She was extremely dehydrated, down to 29 1/2 pounds (she should weigh in the low 50's) and sick to say the least. The vet told me a number of times there was no long term care for her and we need to prepare ourselves for knowing every day she is with us still should be cherished. The last thing they knew to do for her was treat her with iv fluids to rehydrate her and test her thyroid to supplement her diet if it was low. I left the vet Tuesday a complete mess.... Surprisingly enough she fought back. She responded to the iv. She responded to new puppy food. She was able to keep 3+ cans of food down in a day (more than she had eaten in months). She responded to a few new feeding strategies. She responded to a thyroid supplement. She gained 4 pounds. She did all of this in 2 days. She is amazing. Our life these days revolves around feeding the dog or taking the dog to my mom's to be fed because we are busy. She eats 4 times a day and is on 5 different medicines, some of those she will be on forever. I question if we are doing the right thing every day. One side of my heart tells me she is just a dog. The bigger side reminds me she is more than just a dog....she is part of our family. When I picked her up from the vet on Thursday my heart melted. She ran to my mom and I like a puppy. Her tail was going like crazy, she was jumping in our arms and doing everything she could to give kisses. Thankfully she is continuing to do at well home. She's only gotten sick twice and both of those were after car rides and we believe they were motion induced. She is continuing to eat between 3 and 4 cans of food per day. She is her happy, excited perfect dog self :) I would be lying if I didn't say things are tough. Financially we have and are spending a ton of money on the dog. It takes a huge time commitment to ensure she gets medicated and fed all day. But I choose to do it to watch that dog wiggle happily around the house and remind me why I said I would always have dogs in my life. I know I'm completely crazy for it too :)

Mini Me

 I have to admit...it is so amazing to watch my Cammie-bear grow up and develop her own personality. She has a few shared characteristics of each Chris and I including being independent, stubborn :), head-strong, a very Type A personality (we both have it in some way or another) and obviously completely lovable. :) Sometimes however I watch her and feel like I'm looking in the mirror 26 years ago.  She can be so much like me at times it is scary.!.!  A few things we have in common include:

1.  Shopping: Although C is not always the best or most cooperative during a shopping trip she does enjoy a few things about shopping just like her momma.  She loves to take items off the rack or shelf and admire them before putting them back or throwing them on the floor.  :)  She enjoys being in the grocery cart and walking down the various isles looking at all the wonderful things the store has to offer.  Just like her momma, her favorite store is Target.  When we ride by it you hear this high-pitched tiny voice squealing "Target, Target!" (it sounds like Tahget when she says it) (I LOVE it, although I think that is a sign that we are there way too much! :)  When we arrive we usually have to get a bag of popcorn and then she is good to go to browse the majority if the store. :)   

Scanning the Target ad on a Sunday morning, most likely preparing for a trip later that day :)

2.  Curiosity:  Mom, dad and Chris would call it staring, but like her momma she is very curious and inquisitive of other people.  My dad used to kick me under the table during dinners out because of my curiousness and I envision us having to do the same thing with C. :)  She is just in awe or amazement of others and always interested in what they are doing. :)

3.  Cupcakes:  I admit it...I have a love for cupcakes and unfortunately passed it along to my daughter as well. :) She absolutely, positively inherited this from me.  Chris thinks nothing of skipping cake at a birthday party, wedding or other function, but honestly that is one of my favorite parts of a celebration.  During baseball season Camryn and I hung around after Senior Night as we always did to wait for daddy, where she very excitedly took part in celebrating with the boys.

Look what I got! :)

Delicious!

4.  Diet:  Chris would say Camryn primarily eats like me, but is definitely not as picky as I.  The two of us share a love for Chick-Fil-A, goldfish, fruit snacks, apples, grilled cheese, regular cheese, chips, cookies, Pops and Fruit Loops, bagels with cinnamon butter, basically most snack foods.  She eats quite a few things that I won't (like eggs and vegetables), but primarily is a mirror of her mother. :)

5.  The way she sleeps:  Neither her nor I can sleep still.  We toss, turn, flip and move during our sleep. Although I am not near as violent as she is, Chris will confirm that we neither of us are considerate of someone else when we sleep and it drives.him.crazy! :)

Opposite from her mom she definitely has a few qualities and interests she inherited from her daddy including:

1.  Her love for the outside world:  As stated in many blog posts this girl could be outside all day long!  She loves anything that has to do with outside and will cry, whine and demand to go.  Her dad endures extreme weather far better than I ever would (he and Nick will play golf anywhere to get a deal, regardless if the temperature is over 100 and under 50 degrees) and she is just like him.  Sweat nor cold can hold her back! :)

2.  Sense of humor: Chris always teases me and says I have no sense of humor. He is always making jokes, funny faces or acting goofy to get someone, anyone, but mostly C to laugh.  I have and always will be the serious one, while he will most likely always be the laid-back, funny one in our relationship.  Camryn loves when you laugh at her and think she is funny.  Whatever you laugh at she will repeat and try to make you laugh again and again.  She loves to be the center of anyone's attention when she is being silly and definitely gets that from her dad! :)

Getting Settled

     Slowly, but surely we are unpacking the last few boxes, deciding which rooms to paint next, organizing and putting things in their place (just to change our minds about where they will go a day later :) and getting our new house to feel like "home".  Between getting things together "just so," organizing and preparing for parties and spending every waking minute soaking up the summer sunshine outside I have had NO time to update the blog (or finish my online class for that matter :).  My goal is to get the blog completely updated by the end of the week...if Little Miss will give me an hour or so to work indoors :)